Friday, March 19, 2010

moving

Today i moved most of my stuff into my new condo with my mom. My sister and I are watching sleeping beauty and just talking about life. This "secret kid" won't text me back. But he will, infact, write me back on facebook's i.m. I honestly don't understand. I met a kid named mike at a pool party on Tuesday. He definately showed interest in me because he got my number from my sister. Then the next day, met me at startbucks and pissed off his friends because he stayed there with me to long, when he was suppose to be driving to mexico!
Let's talk about Clayton. My mormon boy. he's amazing, sweet, and endearing. He's in Florida right now and does not get back until sunday. I miss him so much. He's going to prom with another girl, just as friends, but it really does suck because i have nobody to go with and it's my senior year! :( because i was engaged during most of my senior year i never really had any guys i talked to. i have only two months to hurry up and find someone! wish me luck!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

it's been years..so let me catch you up! YOU WANT TO READ THIS

SO, since sophmore year i got a boyfriend! an ex. let's just say, an ex fiance. let me elaborate. He is the kind of kid that will say "i forgot my wallet, can i pay you back." He is the kind of kid that will say, "I didn't do anything wrong, why are you freaking out? why are you so upset?"
We've been together for two years. i just broke it off february 1st. exactly 20 days before our two year anniversary. exactly 13 days before valentines day. Why he asked me to marry him? i think it was his way of apologizing for being so cold to me. Alex Latorre is SCUM. He always made me feel like i did something wrong. like i was the crazy one for questioning anything in our relationship. He lied. come to find out six months after being together, he's already married. oh, but it's ok because it was only for his green card?! Hey alex, after you got your green card and then said you couldn't afford a divorce, didn't you want to get another tattoo? as a matter of fact, you did go and get one, right we broke up. i hope looks amazing! I truly believe he was in love with his ex. this explains why he said, he married her for her green card, but he never wanted to get a divorce?
Enough about that. let's talk about another kid. A kid that first, pulled me out of the relationship. I wouldn't say i love him, but even if we didn't ever end up talking, i would still call him my best friend for what he did. i won't give away his name. but he grabbed my attention so much, that i realized what i stuck in. It started with a baseball game. I went, my sister went, my sister's friend went, and of course.....her's friend's little brother. completely adorable. my boyfriend didn't like the idea of me going to this game because he knew, i boy around my age was going as well. well, i decided not to care. I needed to live my life. so i went. When i got home, he yelled and yelled. i left....he grabbed my keys from my hand, slammed my car door shut so i couldn't get in, and threw my keys into the neighbors backyard. i cried. he grabbed me and told me to shut up, to be quiet. i cried louder. i was scared. i couldn't find my keys and so i went back into the house. he told me he wanted to kill himself. i knew he was just putting on a show so i'd stay with him, and i did.
a few months went by and i finally ended it. i went to the river with some friends and my sister. I texted this secret kid, while i was ending it. he told me he was going to take me out. He couldnt' at the time because he was in canada. I was really exciting, mostly happy just be out of my old relationship and dating again. a month went by, and out of know where, this kid stops talking to me. i didn't know why, what i did, what was said, but he just stopped. someone told me it was because i was 17 and he was 19. his brother told me he just wasn't interested. in all of the hurt i felt alone. a few weeks went by and still he did not answer my text, my calls, or my messages. I felt vulnurable, so i called my ex and that night we got back together. for three months, it was perfect. then........Everything started back up again. He asked me to marry him aug. 1st of 2009. and i said yes. Not even a month later is when he became mean. i felt trapped because i was locked with a rock on my finger that i felt, i could never take off. one day, i was talking to this kid at my work. he loved everything that i loved. Between all this, i decided it was time to end it, after being engaged for only 6 months. it just felt right. I ended it, february 1st of 2010. and I WILL NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, GO BACK AGAIN.....